That Introspective Chat – post

Posted on 16/11/2010


Having announced to my friends and family my biggest decision thus far, I had to take stock of the reaction and various questions that came my way – there were PLENTY! Almost immediately I began to regret my decision and started thinking of ways to reverse the process and once again call the same friends and family in the hope that I may convey to them that it was an ‘April Fools’ day joke. It wasn’t April and I never made the call. Instead I started compiling two lists: one ‘for the decision’ and another list ‘against the decision’. Obviously we know which list won. The point is, this was going to be one of the most important decisions in my life and I needed to be absolutely sure that I was committed to this. Any doubt, and we would have a serious problem. I also realised that doubt especially self-doubt, was all part of the process. After all, moving home is a massive process. Key word: ‘process’!

To give you the background, I had previously lived in Zimbabwe in 2004/2005 for about a year. It was, as mentioned in my previous blog – my ‘character building year’. I got through it but most importantly I wasn’t alone then and I know that with moving home now – I certainly have people around me ALWAYS. It is almost easy to forget that people will pick me up from Harare International Airport but the journey between now and then I might have to ride solo. Even then, I’m not alone really. I have good friends around me who no doubt will be eyeing my furniture and various bits and pieces. They will come in handy for pre-flight and the family will cushion post-flight. It’s easy to forget some of these simple truths in a moment of panic.

Another major concern is of course finance. I have had various friends who have asked me about money and how much money is sufficient to have in order to move home. The answer is relative to YOUR situation and only YOU know YOUR situation. Zimbabwe in my view is not for everyone ‘JUST YET’. There are people who won’t and don’t want to deal with the various challenges – the power cuts, the use of the generator and the new gizmo (for me) the invertors. If you are lucky and planned things properly one might have invested in solar energy – I haven’t yet. The point is, when in Zim one quickly realises that to survive one needs to ‘make a plan’ quickly.  Without this type of mindset, life at home can be frustrating. These small challenges were the issues I was grappling with shortly after announcing my decision. Either way, I’m going home. This panic was just part of that process… 

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